The Sweet Truth About Eggnog

It started off as a regular night in bed (as so many nights do). Joe and I were dozing; he was probably dreaming about discovering a new succulent, whereas I was dreaming of--what else--eggnog. It is the holiday season, after all.

Suddenly, I bolted upright in bed. I turned to Joe and exclaimed:

“Eggnog is ice cream!”

Joe's groggy reply: “Yes. Fine. We can make eggnog ice cream.”

My all-too-frantic-for-the-middle-of-the-night response: “No, you don’t understand! Eggnog IS ice cream!”

Joe had already fallen back asleep.

In my half-conscious daze, I must've been recalling the ingredients for eggnog in my head (eggs, cream, sugar), then quickly cross-referenced them with the ingredients in a basic ice cream base (wait for it--eggs, cream, sugar).

It's the same stuff.

How could I have failed to notice this before, especially considering my affinity for all things nog? I can think of only one explanation: When you look at something one way for a long enough time, you mentally block yourself from seeing it any other way. Like how it’s hard to picture your little sister as anything other than a child, so when you talk to her when she’s 32 and she uses a big word like “consequences,” your first instinct is to smack her and say “I’m telling Mom!”

Lying in bed that moment, I wanted to smack my eggnog and tell my mom--but poor, sleepy Joe had to suffice.

The next day, I did the experiment. I grabbed my carton of eggnog from the refrigerator, added a little vanilla extract, and poured it into the ice cream maker. Done.

It worked. And oh it was 

good.

Visual Recipe: Easy Eggnog Ice Cream

1. Do it.

2. Eat it.

3. Love it.

Notes:

I've tried every brand of eggnog out there, and Southern Comfort (in the black box, not the red one) is by far my favorite (by the way, there's no alcohol in it). And if you don't have an ice cream maker, go into your kitchen, chastise yourself for 5 to 10 minutes about how you could have gone on like this for so long, and go out and get one.

P.S. The next time you're wondering why eggnog has so many dang calories, remember: You're basically drinking melted ice cream.