Small Potatoes: I didn’t die at Thanksgiving.

1.  I survived Thanksgiving without eating any starches or drinking any alcohol.  Either that or I went on a complete binge, shocked my system, slipped into a coma, and am now living in a weird Matrix-esque world created by my coma-head.  But I’m pretty sure I just avoided potatoes and booze.

2.  For Thanksgiving on Thursday, I brought a green bean salad with a fresh cranberry-ginger vinaigrette.  I spent nearly an hour cutting each individual green bean on a bias.  It was a bitch, but it sure was pretty.  And considering that the only things that ended up on my plate were that salad and some turkey, I’m glad I put in the extra effort.

3.  Thanksgiving at my Dad’s on Saturday was really hard.  No sage stuffing.  And you know how I feel about sage stuffing.  No pie.  And you know how I feel about pie.

4.  The weird thing is, I found that it was easier to avoid eating these things if I actually had a hand in preparing them.  Kind of like a diabetic who works in an ice cream shop.  At first glance, it looks like a form of unnecessary torture.  In fact, they’re just forming a different relationship with the food – a relationship that consists of preparation and execution, as opposed to indulgence in the finished product.

5.  I ended up making my own Thanksgiving side dishes.  Mashed turnips with roasted garlic.  Sautéed Swiss chard with caramelized onions.  Because the Sous Chef grows food in the City, which – thanks to its previous life as a sunken swampland and current traffic-induced heat increases – is in a completely different climate zone, I have fresh produce for almost a full month after all of the plants here at home have withered and died in the cold.

6.  I roasted the garlic in the toaster oven, because the regular oven was off-limits due to turkey cooking.  Turkey trumps stinking rose.

7.  Planning planning planning.  That’s how I did it.  Darn it, I gave away my secret.  However, a strategy like this shouldn’t be kept secret.  Everyone should know this.  Planning is key.  Those guys that went in and killed Osama bin Laden didn’t just wing it, did they?  NO?!  A plan is essential – whether you’re talking assassinations or just passing the gravy.

8.  Proof of success – I was able to wash my jeans on the regular cycle and dry them on the regular heat level and they still buttoned and zipped without my having to lay down, suck it in, do the Truffle Shuffle, etc.  This Pilgrim’s Progress.

9.  My new obsession: the cute dresses on – they are the reason I won’t be having sage stuffing on Christmas, either.  The Sous Chef better have some veggies left in his global-warming garden come December 25th…


  1. Anonymous
    December 2, 2012

    I admire your strength and motivation, girl! -Lizzy Bit O Honey

  2. December 3, 2012

    I wouldn't make it without starch, but like Lizzy said, I admire your strength!

Comments are closed.